You Know What Happens When You ASSUME

This is a most bizarre story - apparently a man found himself glued to a toilet seat in a Home Depot. When he called for help, store employees assumed it was a hoax. Well, you know what can happen when you ASSUME - and that's what has happened to Home Depot - they made asses out of themselves after they inadvertently made an ass out of this poor man. He's now suing for damages.

I especially loved the statement, "The company, Home Depot, could not immediately be reached for comment." That's really no surprise - rarely can a store employee can be reached for a price check, let alone real customer service. Frankly, I'm surprised the toilet seat appeared to be clean in the first place.

Don't get me wrong. I love Home Depot. There's one in my neighborhood. But when I go I always make sure I have my cell phone with me; otherwise my wife thinks I've had some sort of accident or I was abducted by aliens when in reality I'm strolling down the aisles dreaming of projects I'll never start. Besides, you can't have too many light bulbs and duct tape.

Home Depot truly is a do-it-yourself store. The moral of the story here is: be prepared to pry yourself off the toilet seat. Better yet, just look before you plop yourself down - you know what happens when you assume.